The Art of Letting Go

Letting go has never been my specialty,
it will never be.

I cherish all the things that make me feel alive.
To me, they are like balloons, accompanying me through life.
Through its ups and downs,
the storms, the lovely breeze along the way.

In my mind, I always try to keep all the balloons I find along the path.
They reminded me of who I am.
Yet keeping too much of them will only stray me away from my path.
That is why, along the way I learned to let go of people, memories, feelings.

It was never easy.
Especially when it comes to the people I cherish,
to the people I have fallen for.

I have always fallen for people at the wrong time.
At times where we were born different,
times where you belonged to someone else,
or when we both did not notice the chances we had.

This time, I completely fell for someone.
I fell for you ever since I first met you.
Although at that time, you were merely a new guy at the office. It felt like I've known you for a long time and was right away intrigued by you, it was meant to be - at least, that's how it was in my head. To you, it must be like any other introductions.

It was hard to let go of that feelings, that I kept a space for you.
I like us, though the moments spent together felt so fast, it lasts long in my mind
It's uncommon for me to find someone who has the same background as I do, interests
and talking to you made me feel at ease, that I am talking to someone that I can trust,
someone that I am willing to fight along with.

Although you only came whenever you feel like, I was more than happy.
There was no space left for another opportunity, for I did not want it to happen.
Sometimes I want to tell you how I feel but I'm afraid of losing you instead.
You were obscure, as if I'm just some wind passing by.

Yet it is time for me to let go of that space,
because I fell for someone who will never look back at me.
If it's meant to be, it'll happen. And if it can't now, I have to move forward.

However, it is so hard.
I know deep down that you only look for me if you need me,
not even a single 'Hi, how are you?' came from you,
genuinely asking for my well being.
But every time you contacted me, a glimpse of hope came back to me.
Yet, I lost count of the messages that you ignored, it was hard to keep the conversation going because you simply didn't reply, leaving me in denial.
I should face the reality, and for now really move forward that we are going to be working at different places.