That Home in the Past

I call it 'memories',
the home that I longed for, yet I will never return to.
As I come to this place that is supposed to be 'home',
I missed the other one. The one that is gone, that is changing with time.

In the end, all I have is myself,
trying to make a home out of me,
but it still feels empty.



I just got back to my own hometown, living with my father once again. So far, it's nice to be home again. Yet, I kept on questioning if it is still my home. I don't know how things work here. I feel lonely, having nobody to be crazy with. It gives me a certain security being here with my dad nearby, yet it makes me feel like I'm losing myself.

I'm a mess. I no longer do chores. I am becoming very lazy, I am no longer myself.
Who am I in the first place?
I don't belong here, this is not me.